• Skip to main content

Reclaim Planet Earth

Earth Day Everyday

  • Home
  • About
  • Earth Day Is Every Day
  • Letters From The Home Planet
  • Mama Nature’s Inflation Busters
  • Blog
  • Earth Shop
  • Contact

The Mother Nature Interviews, Part 1

2022-08-04 by Mother Earth

Welcome to Earth Day #216
Wednesday, August 4, 2022
“Earth Day is every day.”
Mother Nature

Mother Nature sat down for a rare one-on-one interview with her SpokesHuman, Jack Goldenberg.

Goldenberg:  I know you’re busy. Thanks for the interview. May I call you Mother Nature?

Mother Nature:  You can call me Mother Nature. Or Mother Earth. Or call me Gaia. Just don’t call me late for the cataclysmic destruction of the planet!

Goldenberg:  (Laughs) I never knew Mother Nature had a sense of humor.

Mother Nature:  Really? Have you ever seen a Blobfish?

Blobfish are found in the marine waters of the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian Oceans. They were voted “Ugliest Creature on the Planet” and “World’s Worst Blind Date.

Goldenberg: That’s one ugly creature.

Mother Nature: Yeah, well I think what humans have done to Earth is ugly. You guys continue to destroy the joint. It’s wearing me down.

Goldenberg:  You do look a little tired.

Mother Nature:  No wonder. My air’s polluted. My oceans are bloated. I have terrible hot spells. And I think I’m losing my species.

Goldenberg:  Sounds like you’re going through “The Change.”

Mother Nature:  Yup. Climate change. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.

Goldenberg:  Everybody’s heard of it.

Mother Nature:  (ANGRY) But humans aren’t doing a damn thing about it. At least, not enough to make a difference!

Mother Nature: The dolphins said I was making a mistake making humans the dominant life form!

Goldenberg: Wait, sometimes you get advice from dolphins?

Mother Nature: Sometimes. I consult with all life forms. Everything on this planet has a purpose. That’s the way I designed it.

Goldenberg: It must be a terrible burden.

Mother Nature: It keeps me busy.

Goldenberg: Do you ever relax?

Mother Nature: Sure. I make myself some green tea. Light a doobie. And listen to music.

Goldenberg: Music? Like what.

Mother Nature: My favorite group now is Gangstagrass. Their music’s a cross between bluegrass and hip hop. And when they’re on the road touring, they lead incredibly sustainable lives.

Goldenberg: It’s tough be live sustainably when you’re on tour.

Mother Nature: I know. They even wrote a song about how the planet’s going to face huge droughts. It’s called Ran Dry. I love the lyrics.

Mother Nature starts singing Ran Dry…

Mother Nature: Ran down to the river
But the river ran dry
Lord knows there’s a reason why
Look up now
Not a cloud in the sky
Ran down to the river
But the river ran dry

Mother Nature: Here. Let me play it for you …

http://reclaimplanetearth.com/wp-content/uploads/the-mother-nature-interviews-part-1-ran-dry.mp4

Goldenberg: Thanks for your time today, Mother Nature. Say, would you pass me that joint?

Mother Nature: Heck, no. Last time you bogarted it.

Share this post:

Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on Email

Filed Under: Blog

Previous Post: « JOE MANCHIN L♥VES HIS M♥THER
Next Post: The Mother Nature Interviews, Part 2 »

© 2023 Reclaim Planet Earth
Privacy Policy